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Motherhood

Motherhood is strange. So so strange. People describe it as amazing and tiring and rewarding and all of that and it is true. But today it dawns on me as strange; a mystery. That once this little being is born you somehow give your everything to it. Even when your flesh cries for more sleep and to do “your own thing” and to not have to feed so soon again, you do. Something inside responds to that helpless babe’s cry and desperately wants to soothe it. Then when soothed, thoug h sleep deprived you can’t help but take another minute to enjoy that sweet face and know she is yours and yours forever. The dance (sometimes literally when you are finding the best way to rock her to sleep, or at other times going – is it hungry or nappy or wind or), the figuring her out, the watching her grow, the frustration, love, heartache, joy and learning has only just begun. She teaches you to pray, to sing, to stretch yourself and try new things. Motherhood; it is a mystery, a wonderful mystery.

Tireless sacrifice

Thankful for my mum who flew here to be with us for two months in anticipation of baby and to look after us. The past 10 days since Tessa was born she has been boiling herbs, cutting fruit, cooking meals, washing dishes, doing laundry and cleaning house. She also spends time with baby so I can catch a nap in the day. Thankful for Ian also, who has been a super hands on father. I didn’t change a single nappy or onesie in the first three days of Tessa’s birth! He also goes to work, still gets up in the middle of the night to soothe Tessa, cooks and more. Ma and Ian have been gracious and unconditional in their service and love, it helps so much post-birth. I just want to say, thank you both.

Mum's here

For the past two weeks... I've only washed cups, never any plates or pots or woks. I've never cleaned anything, yet my house is (visibly) dust free. The car has had its first real deep clean in a couple of um maybe months. Laundry has never been done alone. I've cooked only one meal. Most mornings I wake there is some sort of food ready for me. #justsaying #39weekspregnant Watching my mum wash dishes after dinner last night, I thought about how when we were young, parents would make us do stuff – bring your plates to the sink, wash the dishes, clean your room. But now we are older, our parents know we do those things. Those habits have been ingrained, we have lived in our own homes with our new family for years and know how to "keep house" and "zuo ren" ("be people"). So now instead of asking us to do stuff for our sake, they do  the stuff for our sake. It's their way of serving us, loving us, and perhaps grasping a bit of t

Hi mum

Day 5 of maternity leave. Mum has flown in from overseas mainly to support us when bubs is born. Right from day one she settled into helping to market, cook and clean; it's a mum thing hey :p Today, surprisingly she said okay to breakfast at maccas so hotcakes it was. Then a walk to the nearby library, then she cut my hair so I've got a short bob now which will be more convenient for labour plus days when I just need my hair washed and dried quickly. Perks of having a hairstylist mum – I've paid for haircuts less than 10 times in my life.

Always in nesting mode

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One of the perks of having all this free time while on maternity leave, is doing whatever I want to – like finally finishing the watercolour of the second house we lived in. And getting super organised and cleaning the house. I was asked the other day if I've gotten into "nesting mode" yet. Well, I have always been an organiser. I'm always looking around the house, finding ways to neaten things up, store them better, or more recently also get rid of what we don't need. If this normality gets any more intense, then maybe that would be "nesting" for me. Another thing I did today was organise my feedly with good reads. As a quick reader it's easy to skim through, but the danger is in not actually processing what's read and thinking critically about it. One of the reads I like is Michael Hyatt's blog. He talks about productivity, leadership, and how to be your best self. He came up with a journal – one with guiding questions that gets

Oh Baby

We've just hit 37 weeks and now we're waiting for Baby Loh to arrive, any time now. Our drawer for baby stuff which doubles as a change table just arrived yesterday, so that's the last thing to get set up, and we will be all ready. Or well, as ready as we can be. It's true that people give you all sorts of advice. My mantra is to hear everything, but choose what we think works for us. So many parents wisely say – trust your instincts. And really, you can plan all you want but when baby comes, you'll just have to see how it goes hey. Don't stress and put too much pressure on yourself. Meanwhile, I've just started maternity leave. I am very grateful to be able to have time to relax and do whatever I want, while e 'brings home the bread'. There are bits and pieces to do here and there, but you know what? While I can, I think I'll go take a nap...

He found her

I was reading this book which referenced the woman at the well from the Bible and it said she found Jesus, or rather He found her.  Now I'm not one to think too deeply about eh intricacies and theology or Calvinism or any of that, but when I read that I though, wow – in the midst of all people Jesus found her. In the middle of a crowd He found her, specifically her. It means she must have been special, she must have stood out somehow, there must have been something for Jesus to have found her.  And what a joy and delight, to be found by Jesus.