Block Ashley Madison from Singapore

A Facebook Page has been set up to campaign against Ashley Madison from setting up shop in Singapore from 2014. Ashley Madison is a company that encourages adultery, encouraging casual encounters and extramarital affairs. Read more at the Facebook Page.

To show support and my stand, I've "liked" the Page. It's a small act, but a way I know to raise my voice; a tiny voice in the crowd, but still, a voice. 

One person commented on the page that it is of no use to campaign, because we campaigned against casinos but casinos were built in Singapore in the end. I disagree. Just because the main goal did not score does not mean nothing happened. A lot would have happened "in the field". In the process, Singaporeans were brought to awareness of the casino situation and what was actually happening. Because there was hype, some people thought more about the situation and what it actually meant to them. 

So back to Ashley Madison. I know about this company because I've seen their advertisements on Australia TV. Actually before that, I saw an advertisement for "cougars" (older women) seeking much younger men. And I was like, wow okay. Then I saw an Ashley Madison ad, and I was like, WOW OKAY.

It's sad because once you put something like that out there, you are "helping" people act on their temptations, or even putting thoughts in people's minds, which is really no help at all. One ad I saw wasn't even shown that late at night (ie kids can be up watching TV and see it). 

In social psychology, there is a theory where consensus is a tool of persuasion. If I am unsure of what to do, I look at what others are doing. If others are doing it, I am more likely to think that it is alright and do it too. Ashley Madison ads show that others are doing it – so why not do it too?

Opening avenues (like websites, certain bars, etc) mean opening opportunities. It doesn't mean people won't do X things (like adultery) without these avenues because people who really want to do it will likely do it. But what it means is, MORE people are likely to do X because there is more exposure to the possibility, and more opportunity.

We cannot say that we can't blame a website or inanimate object because while yes self-control and character play a part, we are also nurtured by our environment in part. That's why I disagree with what the founder of Ashley Madison apparently said:

You cannot say that you would be devastated to find out your wife was using the product you founded and sell, and then sell it to others so that they can be devastated. Any cognitive dissonance happening here? Or just plain greed for money and lack of care. 

Sex sells. Back in school in an advertising module, my lecturer said – come up with creative ideas! If you see an ad that uses sex to sell, that's because they couldn't come up with anything else. Because sex always sells. 

We laughed. Because we all knew it was true. You don't need a moralist to tell you that. 

We think that if we are moral people, sites and issues like that will not affect us. We also think – "hey we're adults. Let everyone do what they want". And we think it doesn't matter. But that is not true. We belong to an ecosystem. Everything works together. Everything.

Sure there may be very mentally and morally strong people out there. There will be people who resist bad things against all odds and I genuinely applaud that. Personally, I'd like to think that I'm stronger than I am. But the truth is, I am not. I am probably weaker than I think I am. That is why I choose not to surround myself with such things. I am aware of them – if I don't know what it is, I can't decide whether I'm for it or not, right? But once I know, and know that I don't want it, I try to keep them away, keep away from them, and stay accountable to people. 

So, don't say it doesn't matter. 

It matters. Go away, Ashley Madison.