He watches over me. always.

Passion and Purity
Elisabeth Elliot

We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God could not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath of life. We die in order to live.

A seed falls into the dark earth and dies. Out of its death comes multiplied life. As Saint Francis prayed, “It is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

It takes faith to believe this, as it takes faith for a farmer to plant a seed. It takes faith to live by it, faith to act on it, faith to keep looking at the joyful end of it all.


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Yesterday I was thinking - do I serve God because I want to glorify God? Or because I know there are greater benefits to serving God? I mean, in the end, though I might have to give up some things, ultimately I know I get greater reward. So do I serve God for God's glory, or because of seslfish ambition?

Today I read about dying to self (again) and thought - people always talk about how we must sacrifice, and die to self, and give up so many things. But really. The reward is far greater and glorious. It's so much more worth it. Honestly, it is my joy and privilege to be walking this road and called His. He is committed to me, that I know.

But also. I'm still quite young and I haven't been through much so maybe I'm speaking too early. But well. God starts small. Then things get bigger. And the above is still true. Remember - the reward is always greater than all the obstacles! I wanna get to a whole 'nother level (argh I still think "Ed Young" when I think that. haha)!


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Couldn't get to sleep for over an hour last night. Was just being still and talking to God for a while before turning off the lights and trying to sleep so I guess maybe I couldn't sleep cos it was God's turn to talk to me. ^_-

At one part, I was thinking, looking back. I thought, "God's been with me throughout". He has always been. Funnily enough, I thought about the "down" moments. "Funnily", because "down" periods would be periods people usually say that God wasn't there. So that was interesting. Thought about how He's always been watching over me. Even in little things (that seem bigger when you're younger) like failing ting xie (chinese spelling) or having to report bad grades, or other bigger situations.

I'm a visual person - I remember images. While picturing situations, I just had this image that God was always there, watching over my situation. Queer. Yet comforting and altogether lovely. And assuring, for the future. He is always there.



"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you."
-Isaiah 43:1-5



Press on, people. Press on.